The Price
by T. F. Crosby
Summary: In war, killing is inevitable. He never wanted to kill anyone, but with every battle you fight, it becomes harder to avoid. In war, some have to grow up fast. Finn centric


It's one of those stories you don't plan on writing, you just write. I don't want to say much before the story, only that life is more precious than all the riches of the world and that we should never forget those who go on before us. Especially those who give their lives to ensure our freedom.

**for: **darkmistressoftheshadows just because

**-xxx-**

**The Price**

_He's dead. I killed him. That day was the first time I had ever seen him, or maybe not. We may have met before. I've come across so many Talons I can't remember. I don't know his name or even if he has a family. He couldn't have been any older than Stork, about twenty-three, twenty-four maybe. _

_I was aiming for his ride, but…my ride was hit, I was knocked off-balance. I swear I wasn't aiming for him. I was using a new type of arrow that day, a new type of crystal. I can't remember what Piper said they were. It doesn't matter, though. I haven't used those crystals since. They were unlike any crystals any of us had ever seen before, and yet, Piper figured out what they were. Those crystals didn't do much of anything but slice through things. I might as well have tied daggers to the ends of my arrows. They would have had the same effect._

**-xxx-**

They were evenly matched, equals in every aspect of the battle. The Storm Hawks, with Starling, were facing off against a young squadron of very talented and very determined Talons, led by an elite commander unknown to the Storm Hawks. They returned every punch the Sky Knight squadron had to throw at them. And these Talons, as Aerrow quickly found out, didn't blink. The young Sky Knight nearly had a head on collision with one of the Talons. He mistakenly thought that, like the other Talons he had faced, this one would blink first. He was dead wrong. And the rest of his squadron wasn't faring any better.

Piper had already lost her sky-ride. Fortunately, her fall was stopped by Starling. The few Talons that had lost their rides now acted as co-pilots for other Talons. There was no backing down with these Talons. The battle had been going on for hours. The vast majority of Talons the Storm Hawks had faced previously would have retreated by this point. But that was not the case with this squadron and the Storm Hawks were on the losing end.

Fortunate or not, all depending on your point of view, there had been no loss of life; and the Storm Hawks preferred it that way. Unbeknownst to them, so did these Talons, although it was unlikely any of them would go out of their way to rescue any of the opposition. Not one of the Storm Hawks had ever taken a life and not one of them ever wanted to. However, that was about to change.

Junko had been hit but was able to make it to the Condor's deck before further damage could be done. The Storm Hawks were now down a man and two sky-rides; Piper was now acting as Starling's co-pilot. Aerrow was flanked on both sides by a Talon and had another heading right for him. Unlike the other Talons, excluding the commander, he wasn't dressed like a typical Talon. His uniform was different and he wasn't wearing goggles. Aerrow wasn't sure why he made note of that, but it was odd. The only Talons he knew of that didn't wear goggles and wore their own style of uniform were Dark Ace, Ravess and Snipe.

Finn pulled up behind his Sky Knight. "Don't worry about him," he said. "I got him. Just worry about the guys flanking you."

"Ready, Radarr?" Aerrow said as Finn moved above him.

"You are so mine," Finn said to himself. He stood up on his ride, aiming his crossbow at the ride of the Talon headed for Aerrow. "I hit the wing joint and you are so out of commission."

Catching on to what the blond was up to, he abandoned his attack on Aerrow and headed for Finn. He stood up on his ride and drew his sword. It was blazing with dark blue—the same color as Finn's new crystals. The new crystals weren't of much use as a whole, but they could pierce and slice through almost anything and Finn saw it fit to use them as a means of revenge for all those times his sky-ride was sliced in half.

Finn had his shot lined up. _Perfect_. One hit and that Talon's ride would be sliced in two. The Talon was off at just enough of an angle that it gave the sharpshooter the perfect shot. It was too good to be true.

_Too good. It's never a good thing when something is too good to be true. It leads to disappointment and often to pain and despair. Everything has its price._

Just as he was ready to fire, a blast from out of nowhere hit his ride, knocking him off-balance. Simultaneously, the Talon received a hit, knocking him off-balance. He fell over onto the left wing hitting his hand on the side and losing his sword. Finn fell forward hitting his hands on the crossbar. The Talon sat up shaking his head. He looked in Finn's direction. The Storm Hawk was in the process of sitting up himself. His crossbow no longer held the arrow in its—_the arrow! _

Finn held his crossbow in the firing position. He had released the arrow. But it was not headed where he wanted it to. The sharpshooter's eyes widened in horror. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and then…motion ceased completely.

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. There wasn't much pain, not at first. He looked down at the arrow now protruding from his chest. He reached for the wound with his right hand, the blood oozing through his shirt. Blood trickled down from the corners of his mouth. His eyes were wide in shock. He stared blankly at Finn who was in shock himself. The Storm Hawk dropped his crossbow. The fighting had ceased for no one could move. None could comprehend what had just occurred…not even the Talon commander.

Two Talons sharing a sky-ride moved to the injured Talon. The one on the wing jumped onto the other ride, sitting down behind the injured one. He fell back into the Talon behind him. His entire chest and torso were covered in blood.

"B-Blaise?" the other Talon whispered.

Blaise looked up at him, took in a deep breath, and coughed up blood. "It hurts, Gage," he whispered back, closing his eyes.

His right arm fell limply to his side. Gage held tightly to him as he drew his final breath. The young Talon looked over at his commander.

"Let's get out of here," the commander said.

Finn didn't move. He stared blankly ahead. Aerrow maneuvered next to him. "Let's go, Finn."

**-xxx-**

_Every time I close my eyes I see him. I see the arrow protruding from his chest and the…blood. I can't sleep, not soundly anyway. I don't dream much anymore. When I do dream, it's always about him, the look in his eyes. But the blood…it's always the most prominent. Sometimes in those dreams I'll look down at my hands. They're always covered in blood, but I'm never sure if it's his blood or mine. I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I've even woken up screaming on occasion. Those are the dreams I can never remember. I've hardly eaten anything in the nearly two months since I killed him. Piper's worried. She pleads with me to eat, but I just don't have much of an appetite._

_Aerrow says it's not my fault. I was hit and so was he. We were caught off-guard. Maybe so, but he was left defenseless and I still fired. Starling says it's not my fault. She says that my hands hitting the crossbar forced me to fire. I wish it were true. My hands did hit the crossbar, but it didn't force me to fire. I fired on my own accord. I killed him. I murdered him._

**-xxx-**

Finn sat silently on his bed, twirling one of his arrows with the fingers of his right hand. The crystal tip caught the light from the lamp when it passed through. (They were now over the terra and Stork was searching for a decent place to land.) The blinds were closed. Not that it would have made any difference if they were open; it was dusk on the terra. His leather-bound journal lay on his bed next to him; a red pen lay on top. The arrow slipped from his hands and clattered onto the floor.

_I'm never using these crystals again_.

"Finn?"Aerrow said, poking his head into the room. The blond looked up. "Stork says there's a storm heading our way so Piper, Junko and I are going into the town to get our supplies before it hits. You wanna come?"

He gave Aerrow a weak smile. "Sure."

**-xxx-**

_We ran into Dark Ace and a couple of his Talons at an inn on Terra Cairn the other day. But nothing came of it. Aerrow was a little surprised that he didn't do anything. Although he looked in our direction he didn't really acknowledge that we were there. The others went out to do what they had to do. I stayed at the inn, sitting at the table where we had just eaten dinner. When Dark Ace left, he walked past me, staring at me. There was an odd expression on his face, one I had never seen on him before. The way he looked at me….He knew. I imagine at that point, most of Atmos knew. I'm positive every Talon did. (I know none of them are seeking revenge on me, even though I'm making it sound that way. I know they're just shocked that it was me.)_

**-xxx-**

"What makes you think I won't do it again?" Finn said, flatly.

"I don't know, Finn," replied Aerrow just as flatly. "For all I know you could do it tomorrow. Maybe I'll be the one to do it." The redhead sat down in a chair. "You can't keep doing this, Finn. We need you out there."

**-xxx-**

_I was being completely useless to the team. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the events out of my mind. They kept playing over and over again, even when I was wide awake. I didn't want to be out there fighting anyone. I was afraid; afraid that it might happen again; afraid that the next time, one of my friends would be on the receiving end. It's ludicrous to think that, I know. It's nothing but a hindrance on my abilities, on who I am. Hindrance? Listen to me. Piper would laugh if she heard me use that word—and correctly. It's not that I freeze up in battle or anything. My shots are still dead on. And that's what worries me._

**-xxx-**

Finn sat at his desk (which he had acquired a few months ago at Stork's insistence), staring out the window. His journal was lying open on the desk, the red pen lying at its center. Today was the day he had been dreading for the past three weeks.

"Happy birthday, Finn!" his friends yelled.

_His sixteenth birthday_.

They covered him in silly-string while singing. Aerrow added his own lyrics and was elbowed by Piper. After what he had done four months ago he didn't believe he deserved this; or to smile and enjoy his birthday knowing the he, that Talon whose name he still didn't know, would never have another one. But he couldn't help it. A huge smile engulfed his face. He really didn't know what to say.

"Come on, Finn," said Junko, grabbing the blond and carrying him out of the room. "It's time for cake and ice cream."

"Junko, we haven't even had breakfast yet," said Piper with a laugh.

"Well, we can have cake and ice cream for breakfast," replied the Wallop.

**-xxx-**

_We celebrated my sixteenth birthday two weeks ago and while I did enjoy the day greatly, I couldn't help thinking about when his birthday would have been and how old he would be. (I wish I knew his name.) Something strange happened that day, too. I received a birthday card from someone I never would have expected. I know none of us would have ever expected it. I could feel the tides beginning to change, for good and bad._

_It's now been five months since I killed him. I know I should stop saying that, but it still weighs heavy on my mind. I don't obsess over it, but it bothers me that I still don't know his name. We ran into one of the Red Eagles on Terra Ray. I talked to him for quite a while. He asked me how I was doing, how I was coping. I shared my thoughts and feelings with him over a private conversation. Before we parted ways he told me I should go talk to Carver._

_I think I'll do that._

**-xxx-**

The former Sky Knight for the Red Eagles was still in prison, but he wouldn't be for much longer. The cell block Carver was in allowed Finn to go directly to his cell, although they had to remain on opposite sides of the bars.

"I hear you're being released soon," Said Finn, sitting down on the bench.

"My friends knocked some sense into me," he replied. "It's only going to get worse. Atmos needs every hand it can get. Freedom means a lot more to you when you don't have it."

"You know what I did," Finn said, flatly.

"It's war, kid," Carver said, looking at Finn through the bars. "You didn't actually believe you could do this your entire life and never kill anyone? It's not how war works. No matter how bad you want it to. Nobody's perfect. You can't save everyone. I commend you for not wanting to hurt your enemies, but obtaining and maintaining freedom comes at a price. And that price is life. Mine. Yours. Theirs. There's a good chance that the longer this goes on, you or one of your squad mates will end up being killed. Hell, one of you may even end up killing Dark Ace…or even Cyclonis."

Finn stared at him, almost appalled at the very idea. Yes, Dark Ace, Cyclonis, they were his enemies and they had to be defeated; but _kill_ them.

Knowing what Finn was thinking Carver continued, "But just maybe…we'll all be fortunate enough that it will never come to that. Yeah, you killed that Talon. But time will continue to march on and will inevitably forget it happened."

"I'll never forget."

"Probably not. That's not something you forget. Just remember that both sides kill, justified or not. Like I said, nobody's perfect."

Finn said nothing in response. He only stood up to leave.

"His name was Blaise," said Carver, now facing the wall, as Finn took a few steps. The blond stopped. "He was a native Cyclonian and he joined the Talons to help support his family. He was twenty-four and the second of ten kids. He had six brothers and three sisters. His mother died when the youngest, twins, were less than a year old. His father was killed in a battle four years ago…by a Sky Knight."

"How do you know all this?" Finn asked, soberly.

Carver was slow to respond. When he did, his voice was filled with sorrow. "Because in my first battle as a Sky Knight against the Talons…I killed his older brother."

"What was his name?"

"Colt," replied Carver. He turned to face the Storm Hawk again.

"How do you know?"

"I met him before I was Knighted and he became a Talon….We were friends." He paused for a moment. "Who knew we'd end up on different sides."

As Finn started to walk away Carver spoke again. "Hey, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"What I said about one of you possibly killing Dark Ace…."

"Yeah."

"For all any of us know, Dark Ace could very well end up switching sides back to where he belongs."

**-xxx-**

_I learned a lot about Blaise by talking to Carver. I also learned something else. We're all the same, regardless of what side we claim to be on. I'll never forget; but I'll do everything I can to honor his memory, by doing what I can to stop this asinine war before too many more lives are taken…on both sides._

**-xxx-**

"Finn!" Aerrow yelled in relief as the blond made his way into the hangar. "I thought I'd lost you out there."

"I thought I was a goner for sure," he replied.

"What happened out there?" Piper asked.

"I didn't want to do it, but I didn't have much choice." He paused.

"Sounds like the Talons are down a commander," Stork said over the intercom. "Welcome back, Blondie."

"Thanks, St—ooorrkk!"

"Junko ran up behind him, pulling him into a bear-hug. "Finn! You're okay!"

"Hey, Big Guy."

"All right, so the Talons are down one commander," said Aerrow, reiterating what Stork had said.

"Yeah," replied Finn, "but that hardly puts a dent in the Cyclonian war machine. And there's no telling when there'll be a new one."

Stork's voice came over the intercom again. "Not to break up the reunion, but you guys should get up here."

They ran for the bridge. There was a bit of urgency in the Merb's voice.

"What is it, Stork?" Aerrow asked, as they walked onto the bridge.

"You're not going to believe this," the Merb said, "But I think the Cyclonian war machine just lost one its crucial parts."

"What do you mean?" asked Piper.

"Just received a transmission from Starling. I guess it's true what they say, _once a Storm Hawk, always a Storm Hawk_." Stork grinned. "Happy eighteenth, Finn. Looks like your birthday wish came true."

**-xxx-**

_I told myself I would never use those crystals again, but the battles have escalated to all-out war. People have switched sides. Those I thought for sure were loyal to Cyclonis have defected and joined us, and some of those are merely returning to where they once were. They have returned home, realizing that all of this has gone on for far too long. (I never thought I'd see him don his old insignia.) Then there are those whom I would have entrusted my life that have joined the Cyclonians. Betrayal runs rampant in war. _

_I told myself I would never use those crystals again. I told myself I would never take another life. I never promised._

_Sometimes I just want to hold on to the wings of an eagle and fly away from all of this. I want freedom. I don't condone war, nor do I want it. But like Carver said that day I visited him when he was still in prison: obtaining and maintaining freedom comes with a price. And all too often that price…is life._

_There's a time and a place for everything. Unfortunately, my place is here and my time is now. But whatever the outcome, I know I have done everything to the best of my ability; for Blaise; for my friends; for freedom; for life. _

**-xxx-**

I honestly don't have anything to say. It speaks for itself and, like a lot of stuff I write, my thoughts and feelings have gone into it. None of it was intentional. I didn't plan it. It just happened. Okay, maybe I did have something to say after all.

Reviews are appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

_**Fin**_


End file.
